My son was born with a head full of hair. Just like I knew he would be. I mean, he is literally his fathers child. As the old folks say, "I didn't have a nickel in that dime." They're twins! Same complexion. Same head full of thick hair. Lucky me, right? Who wouldn't adore a beautiful chocolate little boy with big brown eyes and a perfect head of hair? I'll tell you who. A mama who is tired of fighting or hearing the fight when it is time to tame the mane! A mama who is tired of correcting parents at the park or the grocery store when they say "oh my God, she's so cute." A mama who is just plain ole tired.
I literally cannot remember a time when Kyaire actually enjoyed or cooperated with getting his hair done. When he was younger, most times he would cry and fuss until he wore himself out and eventually fall asleep, making Ayoni's job much easier. Yup, you read that right, AYONI. She has been the keeper of his hair since pretty much day one. Thank God for age gaps and talented teens because hair never has and never will be my thing. Especially when the receiver of the services is completely resistant and unfriendly. He won't sit still. He won't turn his head or put it down. And when it's time for a wash and blow dry...just forget about it! He's screaming bloody murder every trip!
So the real question here is, if doing his hair is such a hassle why not just cut it off, right? Good question! Well, beside the fact that his dad might actually never speak to me again in life, I think I have somewhat of this weird attachment to his hair. His sister and I both. It wasn't until just now that I realized that this hair journey isn't just about him. It provides bonding moments for him and his older sister that I'm sure neither of them will ever forget. Not to mention, he has soooo much of it it would kill me to see it all go without giving him the choice. Five years in and his hair is to the top/middle of his back! Imagine how long it will be in a few years when he's actually old enough to look in the mirror and say "hmm, I think I'm done having hair." When I do ask him on occasion if he wants to cut his hair, he always says no and is always super happy and full of smiles once the hard part of getting it done is over. Some have suggested that we lock his hair so that there's less maintenance but even that is some what of a permanent decision.
People reading this probably think I'm insane, I'm sure. They're probably saying, 'it's just hair" or "it will grow back" and "he is just five years old, you're the parent so you make the decision." But it is so much deeper than that for me. I honestly just want my little guy to have a choice on parts of his appearance. The harsh reality is so many choices have already been made for him based on his appearance from the time he was born a black male in this society. A darker skinned black male at that. Am I wrong for giving him the opportunity to choose this one on his own?
Let it be his choice. Although he does not like getting his hair combed his hair is a big part of who he is. He is fully aware of his beautiful hair.