How Do We Get Them Out?!?!

It's the mistake that you may have been warned about. It's the mistake that you probably told yourself you would never make and took the correct steps not to make it. It's the mistake that happened so fast but is taking you forever to reverse. We all (well most of us) know the one. Turning your child into a "bed baby" as we call it in my family. You buy the crib or bassinet. You vow to keep the child in the crib or bassinet. But then the crying and sleep deprivation sets in and it's SO much easier to roll over and nurse or pop a bottle in the babies mouth and coddle them back to sleep while you yourself also doze off. Next thing you know you look up and you have a full grown toddler sprawled out in your bed sideways like he just worked a double, hence the picture above. It's unreal if we're being honest. And now, over four years later, here I am still trying to figure out how do I reverse this curse.

My first two children were bed babies. They both finally started staying in there own beds around 4yrs old but then we moved to a new town and they somehow ended up back in mine, TOGETHER! So, when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest son, I told his father very early on, HE IS NOT SLEEPING WITH US! He was fine with that. Fast forward to my son being only about a month old and here we are. My husband is on the edge, I look a hot mess from the lack of sleep and the baby is sleeping like an angel while depriving his parents of a whole entire side of a king sized bed. Not to mention that he hated covers so I also had to accommodate that demand as well.

Time flew by and before I knew it my bed had become a party of three. To sleep with an uncooperative child inside of you for 38 weeks and then have to share the bed with that same uncooperative child is HELL, for lack of a better term. So, when he turned one I thought I would try something different than I had in the past. I bought him a big boy bed. Not a day bed or a toddler bed. A full blown twin XL car bed that looked super cool and had all the space he needed to sleep as wild and crazy as he wanted. He was excited, as you can see in this picture. His dad and I were more excited! But...he wouldn't sleep in it. He would play, but not sleep.

And let's not forget that once they get comfortable sometimes they invite others to join them in YOUR bed. Sometimes it's the brand new puppy who's so small and cute that you almost enjoy seeing the two of them snuggled up together. Even though that means you now have to hit the edge or find somewhere else to relax. But other times its a 60-70 pound dog AND a pre-teen. In these moments you find yourself asking, "Well, where the hell am I supposed to lay?" The answer to that question, my friends, is nowhere. And guess who cares. No one. No one at all.

And then after a long day of working, wife-ing and a mom-ing, you head to your bed to crash and find your almost 4yr old snoring with his hands in his pants. Immediate thoughts: Must be nice. So this is what great sleep looks like. Maybe I should move him to his bed. Nahhhh, he'll only come back and he might not go right back to sleep. That's the chance you take when you try to regain your power and move a sleeping child. Some nights it's worth the chance but other nights you throw in the towel and take whatever space and sleep you can get. But one thing's for sure, either way, the child makes sure he's comfy, cozy and confident that your bed is in fact his.

I say all of that to say this, how in the hell do I get this little boy out of my bed for good?! I'm taking all suggestions and advice in the comments because baybeeeee I'm not sure my back can survive too much more of wild sleeping antics. Let me put it like this, I can hear the couch gently calling my name. I hate that for me. Any mommas with me on this one?