Get a Fish They Said...

All children reach a stage in their life where they want a pet. It’s one of those things about parenting that seems almost inevitable. Whether it’s a cat, a dog or a hamster, they want something living to call their own. But guess what, kids are high maintenance and so the hell are pets. Trust me, as a owner of three kids and two dogs I think I would know. So what’s the solution?

Fish. Or so I thought. It wasn’t until my toddler poured the milk from his cereal into my teenage daughters 20 gallon fish tank that I realized fish suck too. Imagine trying to “fish out” two super swift goldfish out of a super foggy fish tank with no visibility. Not to mention, time is ticking because the big one will lose her shit when she gets home and her fish are floating upside down. The whole situation was tragic.

Scoopers, cups, containers…my husband and I were trying everything under the sun to catch these damn fish before they died of milk intoxication and, of course, the toddler looked on as we struggled. The floor was wet, my shirt was wet and my frustration was high. Eventually we caught the fish and put them into their sub home. And now came the fun part. Lifting and emptying 20 gallons of water without dropping the tank or spilling the gravel. Sounds fun, right? I can still feel the ache in my back as we speak. Not to mention the floor was wet so my feet were slipping and sliding. But of course….super mom got it done.

Then it was time to refill the tank and low and behold, the menace behind the madness decides that it would be exciting to help me pour water into the tank that HE polluted. I probably should’ve told his little ass no but at this point I could use all the help I could get. Minutes later the tank was full and heavy as hell but the floor was also soaked. Thanks again Kyaire! My husband and I pushed the tank back in place, readmitted the fish to their fresh and clean home and all was well again in the world…. Except the fact now I had to mop….GREAT. Once I finished that chore, it was time to find out why any of this happened in the first place. Like, what would posses a child to pour milk into a fish tank? The only answer I got was a big smile and "FISH!" so I guess that question remains one of the many wonders of the world. The moral of the story is, when your kids get to an age where they ask for a pet simply look them in the eye and say NO, all while thinking to yourself “YOU are the pet”.